How to get rid of terrible guests

Bad cottage guests are rare but when they turn up they can ruin a weekend. Here are a few tips to help scare away ungrateful cabin visitors.

Tips to get rid of bad cottage guests

Here are some tips to help convince bad cottage guests to leave early without actually telling them to go.

Infographic: Ways to get rid of bad guests at the cabin
How to get rid of bad cottage guests

Bear sighting
Make a casual comment that you just saw a large bear walk past the back deck of the neighbours property and that you hope it won’t stick around all night.

Tick story
Tell a story about how you found a wood tick burrowed into your belly button. The problem with ticks is you don’t always feel them crawling up your pant leg.

Toilet out of order
Anounce to the gang that the toilet is broken and everyone is going to have to use the old abandoned outhouse in the woods.

Mouse poop
Apologize to the guests for not cleaning all the mouse poop out of the beds or clothes drawers in case they happen to discover some.

Bugs in the guest cabin
Accidentally leave the guest cabin door or window open for about 20 minutes around dusk.

Fish cleaning
Ask the guests to pitch-in and clean the fish they just caught for dinner.

Leech story
Just after the morning swim, tell the guests about the time you found a big leech attached to your foot.

Go to the How to be a Good Cottage Guest page.

Go to the How to Avoid Bad Guests page.

Go to the Cottage Gift Ideas page.

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